What Does Humanity Look Like? Part 2: Listening
Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash
In Part 1 of this series, I spent time focusing on the concept of race and finding our humanity through learning. Learning allows us to grow as people, as Americans, as world citizens, and as humans. In Part 2, I would like to focus on another aspect of finding humanity – listening.
To start with, let me tell you that over the past week, I have received no less than fifty inquiries as to how I'm doing, how my family is doing, how I am feeling following the death of George Floyd. In each person, I can feel a genuine sense of care and concern for my well-being.
To be honest, it felt quite different.
Without boring you too much, I had the good fortune to spend some time overseas in Europe. I met some fantastic and wonderful people, but one of the traditions or maybe just a way of life, was when it came to "small talk." Many Europeans would ask me how I was doing and wait until I gave them the answer. You have to realize; this was a new experience for me!
Where I live, people ask how you are doing, and if the answer gets too long, they're looking at their watch or have already left! I might be exaggerating some, but not much. My European colleagues really wanted to know how I was doing. This past week here in the US, the people that reached out to me, really wanted to know how I was doing and I shared it with them.
I told them:
That the manner in which some police officers are trained to work with African Americans needs to change
That the judicial system that incarcerates a higher percentage of African Americans needs to change
Politicizing humanity needs to change
I'm struggling through this like everyone else
I'm feeling my way through this
I don't have all the answers, but hopefully, there will be some soon
Thank you for checking in on me
I hope you and your family are well
Etc….
I said these things, knowing it's not all police officers, and not everyone in the judicial system is corrupt or immoral.
I can tell you that the news stories I enjoy the most are the positive ones:
· The ones showing white police officers arm and arm with their brothers and sisters who happen to have a darker tone to their skin.
· The stories where the police officers are kneeling as well – not because they're weak, but because they are strong.
These are my favorite stories because I know that there are so many more good stories than the bad ones. Unfortunately, it's the bad ones that get publicized – but it's necessary. Unfortunately, the world needed to hear the cries of an African American male telling the world he couldn't breathe in order to start listening.
Back to the conversations - what struck me in each of them was the intensity with which the person who was reaching out to me was listening – and I mean really listening. Because of that, I took some time to answer questions that were asked of me. I'll share a few of them with you, but do realize that I can only share my own perspective.
When I'm asked:
Why don't "All lives matter" (in response to the "#BlackLivesMatter" movement)? I say, of course, all lives matter. No one is insinuating otherwise. But we live in a country where it seems that black lives matter less. I've read so many articles in the past few days where I've seen white Americans carrying semi-automatic weapons, and the police only look at them but take no action. I have also read so many stories where black Americans look like they might have a weapon, and they are shot. It seems to be a different America depending on your skin color, and that's why it's important to say, #BlackLivesMatter.
Why are people rioting and burning the stores in their same neighborhoods? That's wrong and does not make sense. I'm no psychologist, but it stands to reason that you don't inflict self-harm (i.e., rioting and burning in your own neighborhood) if everything is okay. You inflict self-harm when things are far from okay – when you are looking for the way out and don't see it. It's a cry for help. What do you do when people are committing self-harm? You help them. You protect them from hurting themselves and others, and you get them help. I agree it's not right to vandalize and destroy other's property, but we're talking about people who may not see a way out. In addition to this predicament, these individuals are being asked to act reasonably and politely to injustice. That request itself may be unreasonable, unjust, and impolite.
How can I help? It depends on what level you're talking about. You can make an impact in your community, your city, the government, legislation, your job, voting, and using your voice, money, influence, power, prayers, and actions to enact change.
Three of four years ago, when I explained #BlackLivesMatter to people that asked, there were still quite a few that didn't fully "get it" – in my conversations today, people are getting it. That's progress. What I have found is that through really listening, there is learning. For the first time that I can recall in my life, millions of people around the world are really listening and seeking to learn, grow, and change when it comes to the color of your skin and African Americans in the United States.
It gives me hope.
Ha-Keem Abdel-Khaliq
